'I'd Like To See Him Dance In Front Of The Stoke Fans!' | FourFourTwo's 4-4-2's

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FourFourTwo's 4-4-2 picks an XI they would love to see on a cold rainy night at Stoke against peak 2008-12 Stoke.

This FourFourTwo 4-4-2 episode is a fantasy draft of players the team would love to see on a cold rainy night at Stoke, building an XI to face peak 2008-12 Stoke. The criteria are mostly physical and mental durability, set-piece ability, bad-weather toughness and entertainment value. The final side is full of hard men, mavericks and technicians, with the conclusion that it would be great fun and probably chaotic.

This is FourFourTwo’s 442’s, where we pick our combined starting XI based off of anything from a football cliche to a passing thought! For episode 1 we've got Matt, Mark & Joe and the players they'd love to see do it on a cold rainy night in Stoke! Sign up for NortonVPN here: https://norton.ow5a.net/c/221109/4022657/4405?sharedid=fourfourtwo&param1=aff&param2=ytvideo&param3=vpn&subid1=OctFFT5 football premierleague footballpodcast Buy the latest FourFourTwo magazine here ➡️ https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/FourFourTwo/author/B0GSRRXJWK?ref=srnttsrchlnk1&qid=1786984945&sr=8-1&shoppingPortalEnabled=true ⚽ FourFourTwo - At the heart of football since 1994 - in print - online - on video ⚽ 📰 SUBSCRIBE: https://bit.ly/3ErE4ai 💻 WEBSITE: https://bit.ly/3GFXMC0 Follow FourFourTwo on: Twitter/X: https://x.com/FourFourTwo?lang=en Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fourfourtwouk/?hl=en TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fourfourtwoofficial Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FourFourTwo/?locale=enGB 📥 Sign up below for 𝗘𝗫𝗧𝗥𝗔-𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘 @FourFourTwo's FREE weekday newsletter 🤝: Transfers 🛒: Deals 🎥: Videos 💡: Quizzes ✍️: Opinion ➕: 𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀 𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝘂𝗽 👇 https://t.co/Yn3AQUt7b6

Transcript

He's basically enhanced hoof. He He looks a little bit like um Bill Na's rat in Flushed Away, but I >> He does. >> He really does. >> If these were like premony rules, I'd be getting 114 charges for my uh my my true I might have to kick you off for the next episode. >> Um the orders from full English. >> He's at the Irish pub every day. >> Yeah, but don't tell them it's an Irish problem. >> Yeah, absolutely not. This is 442s 442s where we're picking combined 11s with Mark with Joe and myself Matt. Um from a football cliche to a passing thought and today's episode is players you would love to see do it on a cold rainy night at Stoke. >> This is this is excellent. Honestly >> separates the for the boys. >> Starting strong. >> Just a couple of guys hanging around hanging about you know naming old football players. All present all present >> naming names. Yeah. I feel like we should some criteria players you'd love to see at Stoke. >> Yeah. >> Dead or alive anywhere in the world. >> Basically, the only rule is there are no rules. >> Okay. >> And that's about it. Right. We'll kick things off with the goalkeeper. Joe, I'm going to start. >> Seems like a good place to start. Uh and you know, in the nature of of being controversial to begin with, I've gone with a pretty interesting pick. Uh he has had some choice opinions to say, and he's wrong for these opinions. Um but as a goalkeeper, purely as a goalkeeper, he was box office. I've gone with Jose Luis Shilov. [laughter] SO HAVE >> I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T. >> I'LL show you. >> Am I wonder? We need to know why. >> First name. >> Of all the goalkeepers. Right. Go on. Let's hear your explanation behind this. >> Um he he's box office. He reckon he's mental. >> Yeah. >> Like you know what they say about goalkeepers, they're all a bit, you know, >> screw loose. >> Yeah. Because you to play in the one position which is different, you have to have a little bit. M >> he was just he was one of one to say the least. Um >> do you reckon he could point to Stoke on a map? >> No, absolutely not. I'm not sure he could point to England on a M. >> Um >> you can barely point to Paraguay. >> True. I reckon I could point to Paraguay. >> Yeah, but he's from Paraguay. >> Could you? >> Well, yeah. >> You can't judge him for not playing England if you >> I've played my fair share of Geio guesser. I'd be I'd be on the right continent. >> Middle of South America. Yeah, >> that's what I'm picking. >> There we go. I reckon I could. So you've both gone for Chill. >> Yeah. Yeah. Because he's a nutter. >> Basically, as as you were saying it, I thought he's going to go for Chill. He's going to go for Chill and he has. Yeah. He's the only goalkeeper to have hit the woodwork at a World Cup. No goalkeeper has ever scored at World Cup. He's come close enough, right? Um, so yeah, I I just thought I mean given that Stoke in their prime were all about the set pieces, I thought chuck a goalkeeper on him. That was >> who takes pieces. I feel like we should preface this for anyone who doesn't know. He is a notorious goal scorer and take your free kicks and penalties. >> Yes. Yes. So that was that that went into my thinking. Also the whole kind of him being well you said screw loose absolutely off his head. I thought perfect. So, we're going to pick this 11 to kind of beat Stoke, right? Prime Stoke. This is >> 2008 to 2012. >> Yeah. >> This is basically Prime Pulis complaining that he's owed an FA Cup from Man City. This is This is the team. >> Well, now I feel like we got to go with you guys. You know, I know yours. >> I actually went along the same line of someone absolutely mental who wouldn't be phased by facing a tough Stoke crowd in Oliver Khan. >> Okay. >> It's a good pick. >> He's a good as well. Not bad >> cuz he's mental again. Could he point to Stoke on a map? Probably not. I feel like he's dealt with bigger opposition. >> I think the key criteria that I was thinking about with this one was, >> okay, Stoke have got Rory Dap throwing one into the box and we've got Ricardo Fuller backing into the goalkeeper. >> True. >> Which goalkeeper is going to take note? >> And I thought >> there's a there's an equal chance that he punches it clear or he kind of just goes, you know what, I'm going to punch the back of the head of the striker. And I thought, >> as long as the ball doesn't go in, we're totally fine. >> Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. If I if I'm not mistaken, he has once been done for punching a a player. I I don't want to be surprised, but I I believe it is on his Wikipedia page. If not, I do apologize personally to the nation of Paraguay, [laughter] but >> for spreading harsh realities about goalkeeping, >> he wouldn't I mean, he'd probably he'll probably claim it if he hasn't. He'll probably be like, "Yep, I did that." >> Right. We'll go with Shair. We'll go with him in goal. Easy enough. >> Um Mark, we're switching to you for right back. >> No, I'm pretty sure you haven't got this one. I've gone with former England captain. >> Okay. >> Who was sent off in more games than he finished. >> I've gone with Gary Wacket. The legend Gary Wacket from Mike Basset England manager. >> Excellent. >> Very [laughter] good. >> We did we didn't say can be fictional, but here we are. >> No, but he's he's the guy who if you've not seen the film, um he's asked to give a team talk. >> Okay, Wacko, LEAD HIM OUT. >> LET'S KILL [screaming] HIM. I will caveat that if you do look at the kind of the tactical makeup of Bassets England, um he is probably either a left back or a left center back. So I've got him at right back, >> right? >> But I I just think he's not really like it doesn't matter where you play him. He's not there to >> he's not going to suddenly become tame at right back as opposed to to left back. >> He he Yeah. And I would also say that England did get better after he was sent home from the World Cup in Brazil because he was fighting with the locals and other fans. But I just think, like you said, like we're out stoking Stoke here. You got to go with Wacko. >> We're not We're two players in and this has already gone way way further left field than I thought it would. >> Yeah, we're going hard. >> That's astonishingly good. >> That is so good. Can you top that? >> Uh no. And I don't think I've gone with Tony Hibbert. First time they did in the same conversation. >> Never scored a goal famously in the Premier League. >> And and you know, one of the most insane pieces of skill in Barclay's Premier League history. You know, put your foot on the ball, drag it back a little bit, move to the side, put your foot on the ball, drag it back a little bit, and then meet you back where you started. >> Beautiful. >> Um, >> yeah, >> just I feel like with this this team, if they are going to beat Prime Stoke, you need a little bit of stability. Hm. >> And and admittedly, I think I've gone for one stable player and I've gone for him at right back. Um because you can't have a team full of head cases basically. >> I've gone for the headcase. So, >> exactly. Yeah. >> It's a nice nice chalk and cheese there in in our ways of thinking. Um but I think you know Shil is at the back. >> He's barking orders in Spanish presumably. >> True. >> Tony Hibbert you know he's been on holiday to Lanzerati a few times. You know, he does strong at me as a >> Well, Wacko's probably got a time share in Bendador, so I'll be >> Exactly. Yeah, but he hasn't he hasn't ventured outside of the time share, so he doesn't. >> No, he orders. He orders full English. He's at the Irish pub every day. >> Every day. >> Yeah. But don't tell him it's an Irish >> problem. Absolutely. >> Oh, well, those all seem fairly tame. I've gone for Moritz Vault. >> Oh, former Arsenal and Fulham right back. >> Yeah. I'm not picking on Germans here, but he once said uh basically he used to make cakes. I don't know if you knew about this. Morris Vultz is a baker and he once said, "When we play the big clubs like Arsenal, Man United, I make a biscuit based cake with bananas and a dusting of green tea. If we were playing more rugged teams like Blackman Rovers, I would make something a lot heavier like carrot cake with nuts." >> Wow. >> So the it crossed my mind. I wonder what he'd make for Stoke. >> So that's why I would choose him just to see what he'd make. So, you're going for a a [laughter] gravel cake. Yeah. >> He's like eating tarmac. >> What is the What is the toughest cake that you would make? What What represents >> a rock cake, I guess. >> Yeah. >> Rock buns. >> Rock buns. >> Did you ever make them at school? >> No. A rock bun. >> Yeah. Like food tech. >> Pretty sure my mom's made them a couple of times. >> Yeah. I mean, mine always came out quite literally rock hard. >> Yeah. Yeah. Um, >> what is it? >> It's, as it says, it's like >> a bun. Like a hotross bun. >> Yeah. But it's rock hard. >> Or at least my >> like Yeah, it's >> It should be like knock it. >> You can dust them. >> Yeah, you can dust them. >> Yeah, >> you could probably play the steel drums if you had two. >> If we ever meet Morris Vault, so I'm going to ask him. >> Yeah. >> Stoke away. What cake would you have made? >> I do like that though as a pick. I really do. >> Don't get me wrong, Wacko is a great shout. Hibbert's a bit of a cop out from me. Sorry, Tone. >> I'd actually go with with with Wacko. >> Let's go Wacko. Yeah, >> it could be could be a recipe for disaster before we've even got to the right center. >> Was that was that a cake pun? >> Very good. [laughter] >> Very good. Your brain's been overtime recently. >> We'll get that. We'll get to that a little bit later. >> Um, right. Center backs. >> Uh, do you want to do two at once? No. No. We'll go we'll go we'll go one at a time. >> Uh, this feels like a fairly obvious pick, but Pepe. >> I've gone with Pepe. >> That's good. >> I've gone with Pepe. >> I don't think I can get him in there now. He he booted a guy when he was on the floor at Real Madrid against Kafe, I believe, and got a 10ame ban. >> I see. I went with Pepe because Ramos is like Pepe with culture. >> Pepe is just like animal. He is a complete like he he has no kind of like >> my my only worry is that the Stoke fans will appreciate him. >> Yeah. >> We don't want that. We want them to boo. >> Yeah. Potentially. >> It's not good at some parks. I'm not going to boo that. No, no, I Yeah, I went with Pepe just cuz he's he's pure adrenaline running through his veins and nothing else. He will think nothing of >> he'd deal with Ricardo Fen. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Mame beam. >> Kenwin Jones. There we go. >> Yeah. Yeah, he was. Yeah. >> That's a tough forward line to face. >> He's >> I don't think >> he's not going to shrink at all. No. You know, he's not going to shrink for the Bratana boo either. >> No. >> Or the Beth 365 booth. He's He's seen worse at the weekends. He's, you know, >> true. Who Who have [clears throat] you gone with? >> I've gone with Mick McCarthy. Specifically Celtic era Mick McCarthy. >> You are you going to do the look in the camera though? >> Yeah. Not going to do the me cuz I didn't know he was a center back. >> Really? >> Yeah. Yeah. I didn't actually know that. >> He was just hard nononsense like 80s central defender. um when the I can't remember which team it was he was playing for but I think Margaret Tatcher wanted to meet them and he just point blank refused because he's the son of a minor from Barnsley. >> Um you know he makes no apologies for who he is and what he thinks. So I was again thinking about that forward line of Stoke who's going to just you know those those little John Terisms where you kind of just getting into the little >> Yeah. >> I I thought Mick McCarthy is perfect. >> We can't go with Mick McCarthy, can we? >> We can. We can. [laughter] >> There we go. I think we do go with Pepe. >> I think we go with Pepe because we had a kind of a two vote to one. >> Yeah, exactly. Yeah. >> God, I tell you what, this back line's mental. Uh, right, Joe, going to come back to you for the next center back. >> Uh, present day player, actually. >> Oh, first one. >> Yeah. Um, not fictional. >> Not. And as far as we know, not a complete headcase, but uh, Luca Vuskovic. Oh, >> okay. I can see that. Yeah, >> they sound sensible. >> Thinking set pieces. M >> the guy was just knocking them in for fun at Hamburg last season. I think he's got one for Brighton this season, hasn't he? >> He does. Yeah. >> Um I just think he's exactly what you need if you're going to be you're going to be playing the percentages of Stoke. You know, it's going to be ball in play time about 35 minutes. You're going to need to maximize your opportunities when set plays come around. >> You want a big Croatian who's just going to head and kick anything. >> Oh, I feel like I've gone far too aggressive because that's sensible. more aggressive than Wacko. >> Yeah, true. In the center back pairings. That makes sense. >> Okay. >> I went with Marco Matarazzi. >> Oh my. Are you gonna finish? [laughter] Is this Is this 11 going to finish any 90 minutes? >> A man who famously picked up three red cards in 33 appearances for Everton, none of which were stoked, by the way. >> And Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Three reds, like one red every 11 games >> is mental. But now that now that you've said something sensible, I'm like between him and Pepe, are we going to have a center back partnership at all by the end? >> Big question, which Stoke player is going to headbutt Marco Maserati? >> Yeah, true. Isn't that a shame that his career was being known as the guy who insulted Zidan and got headbed? >> Yeah. >> And you think I don't think he gives a because he won the World Cup, I guess. But [laughter] >> yeah, [clears throat] >> true. Right. Who have you gone with? So, I thought about who would be playing for Stoke on the opposite side, and I thought it would be Robert Hoof, the legend that is. And I thought, um, >> I thought literally just go for like if you made Robert Hoof in a Petra dish in a lab, but like bigger, like broader, bad. >> I think I know who you're going for here. >> Who do you think I'm going with? >> Nicholas Zula. >> I have gone with Nicholas. [laughter] He uh he looks a bit like um >> You're right. He's like a German turbocharged Robert H. Robert Huth also German. >> He is He is basically enhanced Hoof. He He looks a little bit like um Bill Na's rat in Flushed away. But I >> He does. >> He really does. >> What a show that was. >> Get it up. Get it up on the get two pictures. You know, >> enhanced sounds like a sounds like a weird sort of like expose on Robert Huth at the enhanced Olympics. >> Yeah. Yeah. I I just think Nicholas Sula has obviously you know not done it the last few years by the way out the German team >> playing in eighth division German football >> is he actually >> so if anyone follows Christ Liga in Germany which is eighth uh or ninth eighth ninth anyway yeah he plays the center mid he even played in gold the other day. >> Wow. >> So he's still in the German football system. >> He can play a bit. He's uh he was okay on the ball. He was good at you know good at uh was it Hoffenheim? He was out at first. >> Yeah it was at Hoffenheim. Yeah. >> Yeah. So, I just kind of thought go with a bigger bad hoof. Basically, that was mine. >> Big bad hoof. >> That's That gets my vote. >> Big bad hoof. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. >> Okay. >> It's fantastic. >> Fight fire with fire. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Foyer with mid foyer. >> Yeah. >> There you go. >> There we go. >> That's some GCSE German coming up to >> Oh my god. >> Yeah. [snorts] >> Yeah. >> Fantastic. Right. We've got a H next to Pepe. >> Sorry. H next Pepe. Sula next to Pepe. Um >> mad. I actually have an honorary mention for center back >> because I thought when doing this I was like Sean Dish >> he's just the most >> center back stoke taking on center back. However, after some research I found out that he went and he actually did do it on a cold rainy night in Stoke >> and that was one of the criteria to say that >> yes to say that he can't have done it. Um, >> Wednesday the 30th of October 2002, he played 90 minutes in Watford's 2-1 victory away at Stoke and in the most Sha dish thing ever, picked up a yellow car after 8 minutes. >> Brillias. I bet it was gone through someone. >> I really hope it was. >> Let him know you're there first five minutes. Yeah, [laughter] >> here we go. He loves it. >> I took the opportunity. >> Yeah, you took the opportunity. It's fantastic. He was my honorary mention. >> It's perfect when I've had a night of heavy drinking the night before and then my voice is an octave lower. So fortunately I haven't done that. Um so it's not quite excellent. Uh right left back. Actually we we'll start with you. Before we carry on though, a quick word from today's sponsor, NortonVPN. Whether you're working from a coffee shop, traveling, or just browsing at home, you are constantly sending information across the internet. So what NortonVPN can do is add an extra layer of privacy by encrypting your internet connection and helping keep your online activity a little bit more private. It's simple to use, works across your everyday devices, and you can connect to VPN servers in locations around the world, whether you're at home or on the move. So, if you want to add another level of privacy and security to your everyday browsing, click the link [clears throat] in the description to find out more and see the latest NortonVPN offer. Right, then back to the video. >> Yeah, I've not gone quite so psycho on this one. So, um, yeah, there are a few Arsenal fans that say that Martin Odigard gets better when the sun is shining and he is particularly good in sunshine. Uh, but there's one Arsenal player who has got better the colder it was, and that was Kieran Tinney. It seemed to be that the colder it was, >> the shorter his sleeves, um, and the better he would play. And I distinctly remember during lockdown him sort of cutting in off the left and hitting one with his weaker foot sort of top bends. Um, so I thought about the cold rainy night in Stoke and I thought who would who would come out of his shell the most and I thought Karen Tuni. >> A Scotsman. >> Yes. Yeah. >> Can you attest to that as a Scotsman? >> I can. Yes. Yeah. I'd say that you know that's that's his natural habitat. [laughter] He did a he did an interview with um 442 after the famous um taking a carrier bag to train. Everybody has their designer backpacks. He had a carrier bag and um yeah, we said to him something about how you know you're really down to earth cuz you car take a carrier bag and he said, "Yeah, all my mates back home have said I've gone up in the world cuz I've got Tesco. I used to have little." >> So, >> Santa human. >> Very good. Very good. I think I might pick him just for that. That's fantastic. >> Uh who have you gone for, John? >> Uh I've gone for a little bit of a Latin flare. >> I'm thinking short sleeves but gloves. I'm just that aesthetic as a as a a fan who's sorry as a player who's coming to the Bratannia. Let's call it it's going to be the Britannia because it's that >> gloves and short sleeve. >> Yeah, gloves and short sleeves. I've gone for Jean Bozour ex Wigan >> Chile. Chillian >> South America get a lot of air time today. >> Someone that I think can run that line all day long. >> And you in my team obviously Hibbit was at right back. I was thinking, you know, Hibbit's going to just tuck in. We have three at the back. Mike does two. So is Wacko. Wack. So >> Exactly. Wacko's going to sit as well. >> He doesn't run. >> He No, he everyone else does his running for him. >> Running is for pansies. [laughter] >> Tackling. That's for hard men, right? >> Um but yeah, I thought John Bozour, he's going to go on the outside on the overlap and whoever else in this team, there's a little bit of a Spanish flare. >> If if if memory serves me correctly, didn't he go