Aaron Wan-Bissaka on bouncing BACK from career setbacks | The Pitch
In this powerful and honest sit-down, Aaron Wan-Bissaka speaks to Charlotte Daly about resilience, criticism, and the mindset that carried him through the toughest periods of his career. From being doubted and written off to rebuilding his confidence and form, Aaron opens up about the lows that tested him, the lessons he learned behind the scenes, and why his biggest message is simple: “Just never give up.” football premierleague aaronwanbissaka westhamunited westham
Transcript
On this episode of the pitch, West Ham's Aaron Wambaka with us to talk about the challenges he's faced in his career and the resilience [music] to make it to the top. >> Just never give up, you know, even if you don't see a clear vision [music] of where you want to be, just keep going. >> What was it like being under Tenhog? >> Well, at the start it was difficult. Um cuz I think as soon as he he joined, [music] he told me that I wasn't in his plans. Especially for mentally, you know, cuz it's like, >> what do I do now? >> How hard is it motivation wise to keep training and keep that momentum [snorts] when you don't see the the goal in sight of the starting and playing [music] >> with the people I had around me that guided me in the right way to just keep keep going. >> Look, we've got six topics in front of us. This is a timeline of your career. We're going to work our way through. Number one is your upbringing. Now, when did you first fall in love with football? How did it all start for you? I was probably age five cuz we were limited with what we had. It was more just out and about, you know, we didn't get the opportunity to watch football live at the time. It was mostly highlights, match of the day, but uh we just made the most of it. >> When you think about football now, when you when you were a kid, what did it represent for you? Was it more opportunity, fun, or or a goal of a different life? What was football to you then? >> Um, back then, for me, to be realistic, it was just fun. With reality, it's hard to see that vision that you're going to make it as a professional or be on TV or become what your idol is, you know? So, it's more about just uh enjoying it. >> You always spoke about that green opposite your house. You'd call it your Wembley growing up. What was it like playing with those kids there? And then fast forward to the fact that you actually did play at Wembley. >> Yeah. Um, crazy, you know. Um, that's all every kid wanted to to be on that pitch. Uh, once you get on that pitch, all you want to do is stay on it. And the amount of kids that were on there were they just all all they wanted to do is just play. >> Who were you envisioning being? Who were you idolizing and looking up to at the time? >> For me, uh, it would be Henry. Definitely him. That was my idol growing up. >> Arsenal player as well. Am I right in thinking your mom and your family are Arsenal fans >> growing up? Yeah, we're all um Arsenal fans until I started playing professionally. >> Well, before we get into your career as such, just more on on the upbringing, I heard you say that, you know, your family didn't have a lot when you were growing up and that your your parents had to work cleaning jobs to be able to afford your boots and your kit. What was life like that at that time? and and seeing what your parents were having to go through to make sure you had the opportunity. >> Um, to be honest, during that time as a kid, I didn't really see much. So, everything just felt normal. >> At what point would you say you did realize the sacrifice that had gone into helping you achieve your dream? >> This was when I got into secondary school and uh that's like the age where you kind of like you want things, trainers, boots, clothes. I wouldn't say I was quite demanding, but when I wanted things, they would kind of like brush it to the side and be like, "Wait a couple months or things like that." >> So that's when I kind of realized >> people around players like yourself always >> notice it as well. I mean, I think I heard a story about your your dad being asked for tickets at some point. What What happened there? >> Um, so this was after I made my debut. um he [snorts] was still working at um at his job and he was asked quite a lot for tickets cuz um Crystal Palace was obviously the local team team there. So um obviously he wasn't able to provide through me. Um so I think they just took it in a way of like jealousy really and it happened a few times and then one time I think they just fired him from it and yeah that's that's the story he told me. >> Wow. So do you think people try to almost take advantage of your situation? >> Yeah, through him. Yeah. >> Wow. Wow. Um with your dad as well, he obviously helped forge your career to begin with by taking you to training and those long bus journeys and and train journeys. Um what was it like the dynamic between you and your dad growing up? >> Um how was it? It was difficult, you know, cuz there obviously there was a language barrier. um his English weren't great and my French weren't great. So um only a few words can get exchanged at times but it was mostly the basics. So we didn't really get into deep conversations just mainly football stuff and yeah just family stuff really. >> Did you ever feel a a pressure from your dad? You know I think you had said before that um he never particularly told you when you'd done something well. He was always the first to give you um the constructive criticism. Did you ever feel a pressure? >> Um no. It was more of confusion um to why he would not praise me as much, you know? Um I used to question myself, am I not doing enough? Even after like example just scoring, I used to just think to myself, is is one goal not enough? And then as I got older, I kind of understood it. you know, he always wanted me to to test myself. >> Your dad was quite particular about the groups that you were hanging around with, your friends at the time. I think he there was some friends that even said, "Right, don't come back. Aaron needs to focus." >> What was that like from your experience? >> Um, for me it was annoying at the time. Um, I was confused on why, you know, especially at that age. um was quite strict with it and I don't understand what he saw in them and the friends I had, you know, it was just a group of friends growing up just wanting to have fun >> and just enjoying every moment we had together and just felt like he was getting in the way of that, but obviously I didn't understand then, but now I fully understand it. >> Do you feel like you missed out on an element of of childhood? because I know there's certain requirements to be as successful as as you've been and as you are, but it does mean that you have to sacrifice other elements of your life. What's the balance for you? How much do you think you've had to sacrifice to be where you are now? >> Um, I think quite a lot. Um, and I was uh probably around 15. Uh, it was mostly to do with things like [snorts] going out after school or to like parties and just just hanging outside. At times you're not supposed to, but as a kid that's what kids do, you know, and some parts I missed out, some parts I didn't. >> Did your friends understand at the time what you were trying to achieve? You know, the amount of times I've heard friends of mine say when we were younger, I'm going to be a footballer. I'm going to be this, I'm going to be that. But you almost laugh it off because you think, "Ah, it's not really going to happen." The small percentage of people that actually succeed. When you were telling your friends this, did they support you in it or was it hard because they didn't see a world where that could really happen? >> Um, the friends that obviously he noticed that weren't weren't good for me. Obviously, they didn't understand, you know, they just thought my dad's just being a typical annoying dad. Um, so that's one thing I couldn't explain to them cuz I didn't understand myself. You know, I used to disagree with him. Yeah, he's been that kind of dad. Um, but um, probably looking back now, I think they could all see why. >> I'm going to move us on to point number two, which is Crystal Palace. >> Okay. >> When you first got approached about joining Palace, when did that happen? And and what was it like when you were first approached? What was your initial feelings towards it? >> I was excited. Um, obviously you have to change your ways. You know, it's not like Sunday football anymore. You know, this is an opportunity to make something out of it. >> Was it quite overwhelming to begin with >> for me? No. No. Um, cuz everything just happened so quick at that age. >> You said that you didn't necessarily take it as seriously as you could have to begin with. What does that actually look like? What does not taking it as seriously as you could have look like? >> Um, so obviously not making football a priority. just as I said just having fun just playing it because I like it and friends are playing it and obviously when you're in academy that's when you have to take it serious but obviously I was getting few distractions from school which I do think is normal but it's really up to you if you allow it to become a distraction. >> At what point did you realize that it was impacting your position at Crystal Palace? Um [snorts] when I think my dad's friend whose son as well was at the same age group, he came up to me and told me that they are looking to release me. I didn't really believe it. it was 50/50, you know, but obviously he sat me down and he just told me what my dad's been through from the start of my journey till now and that I should be grateful and just keep pursuing this this dream, you know, um for my sake and his sake. >> How daunting was it hearing those words release? Cuz I know every young player that's like the dreaded word. >> Yeah. Um wakeup call for me. Um, definitely. And that just made me realize and understand how my journey's been and where I've come from. And I can't let it end here. >> Even if they hadn't have released you >> and kept you on, do you think that if you hadn't have had that, it wouldn't have given you the kick that you needed that you would have almost just floated through rather than really looking inward and being like, "No, I can be something brilliant here." >> Uh, no, definitely. Um I think I needed that and till this day I thank him as well you know for telling me that because some other parents they really don't care about other kids you know just just their child so for that I got to thank him for that. >> Do you think your dad would have told you about that or do you think he would have? >> Yeah he would have but at the time it was like he knew I don't care so it's like anything he says to me he'll just go out with you. What was it like being told that you were getting your debut knowing that your name is on that team sheet? >> When you're in the meeting, obviously you count the numbers in the first team squad. So, you know whether you're on the bench or you're just traveling. And I think there was about 22 players and only I think 21 make it. So, when I counted 22, I automatically thought myself, I'm going to be the one just traveling, sitting the stands. And then um the team sheet came up and obviously for me the first thing I look at is the bench cuz it's going to be realistic. I'm not going to be in a starting 11. So I don't see my name on the bench. So obviously I was a bit upset. I put my head down and then um I get a nudge to my left and then a nudge behind me and they just said congrats. And I was confused for what and then I look up and then I see my name on the right back position. the nerves that kicked in that time. >> Yeah, I couldn't believe it. >> Was it nerves before excitement? >> Definitely. Yeah, nerves. Yeah, cuz the team we're playing as well, playing Tottenham at the time. >> Well, we've had the stories of training Wilfred Zaha being in your pocket at times. What do you remember about those sessions? >> Um, no, they were fun, challenging. Um, I think that that made me better as a as a defender. Definitely train against him. He used to praise me on on the challenge at the end of the end of the session. >> Yeah. I've seen things from him before where he said that it used to be the most frustrating thing for him because he'd be so annoyed, but then he'd also have to praise you because you were doing a good job. >> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz uh even as um before that when I was a bit younger, we used to watch the training sessions >> and used to just dribble past everyone and the entertainment on that was just crazy. So I think once I started training and I kind of gave him a challenge, I think that that that kind of changed things. >> Also increases your confidence, right? Knowing that I belong here. I'm good enough to be here. Look what I'm able to do sort of. >> Yeah, definitely. Um I think that as I said, that just uh made me better as a as a player as well. >> Yeah. Well, fast forward to your debut then against Tottenham. Um wasn't the result you wanted, but for you personally, it was an unbelievable performance. I was looking at some of the stats from it and it was like you won 66% of your jewels. There was seven tackles, four intercepts, um four clearances. It was just a unbelievable debut for you. How did you feel on the pitch? How did you feel making that debut? >> Um to be honest, everything got blocked out as soon as came out of the tunnel. You know, it just felt like a normal game. Couldn't really hear the fans. It was just more of like let me just focus on this game. I think we had Tottenham, United and Chelsea. Yeah. Um all that all that I was thinking in my head before these games was I need to play well. You know, in I was telling myself one bad game I won't be part of this team again. So I think that kind of stuck with me and just made me just give my all on each game and I think I played well in all the games and stayed in the team till then. I remember Roy Hodgson said at the time he was like it was a sink or swim situation that you really did just get thrown into it, didn't you? [laughter] >> What was your relationship with Roy like? >> No, it was good. Um, it was good even from before I started started playing. Um, nearly had a fallout before um so obviously uh before my debut I wanted to go on loan. >> Yeah. Yeah. But I actually really wanted to go. So um there was a time where on my day off he told me to come in and speak to him. So I thought he was going to accept and allow me to go and then told me I don't he doesn't want me to go. But for me it was more of like I was confused on why cuz um at the time I was just traveling sometimes on the bench and then he told me I couldn't go. Conversation ended there. And as I'm on my way home, I found it cheeky of him to ask me, "Do I have my kit?" And I said, "No." And he was just like, "The kit, man, will sort you out. We got a training session." But this was on my day off. But then he made me train with the first team. And then two weeks later, well, a few weeks later, um, yeah, that's when the debut came. >> So it all worked out. So, he didn't even tell you in that conversation the reason why. >> No, no, of course not. Now, yeah, >> you were picking up a lot of interest during your time at Crystal Palace. Everybody had their eyes on you. People were talking about you being one of the best 1 v1 defenders um in the league. Manchester United had their tabs on you. What was it like knowing that a club of the magnitude of Manchester United were looking at you and focusing on you? >> Um, I'll be honest, I didn't believe it at the time. you know, uh I think things were happening too quick at that moment. I don't believe it. Um I hadn't even played the full season, so none of it phased me. I was just focusing on uh my game at Palace. >> Well, talking of Manchester United, that is up next. You did move from Crystal Palace to Manchester United, moving from London to Manchester. What was it like moving to a different city, especially at the age that you were and with the price tag that was associated with you? How did it feel moving up there? [snorts] >> Um, different. You know, it was a big decision. Um, a lot to adapt to. Um, obviously I'm going there for football and nothing else. It is hard though moving away from home, moving away from family and especially with a club like Manchester United. There's so many eyeballs on you that it it is a hard adjustment though. >> Yeah, definitely. You know, just even on on your lifestyle, you know, what you do, everything is everyone sees it, everyone watches it and everyone has their opinion. I heard stories of you um traveling back to London after training sessions whilst you were living in Manchester. What what was that dynamic like? Um at the start it was quite easy. Um I just missed home that's really family and friends, you know. So after training I used to take the train back to London, leave in the evening pretty much every day and then it kind of got tiring. So I knew I had to stop >> after training every day. >> It's only 2 hours. >> It's a big commitment though. >> No, of course. Yeah, definitely. Um it's draining. >> There's an element of loneliness. Is that is that where it comes from? Moving to a different city and um taking on a basically a a whole new life in Manchester. >> Yeah, obviously something I wasn't used to at all. You know, for me it was like I was just comfortable with being home in London with my surroundings, you know, and for that one day to just change um it's quite difficult to to adapt to. >> I heard you say before about struggling with that loneliness element. What What was struggling? What did that look like on a on a day-to-day basis for you? Um that would just be at home alone, just on the PlayStation really until it's time to go to sleep pretty much. Yeah. >> But Manchester United obviously um massive club, huge performances for you there as well. I remember um I think it was Jamie Carrager describing you as the best one-on-one defender in the world. hearing people give you, you know, taglines like that and putting in big performances like that. How did that make you feel at the time? >> Um, obviously it's a good feeling, you know, getting praises like that and obviously it just helps for you with with like confidence and just things like that. Um, so hearing that it just shows like the work you're putting in. Obviously people people see it as well, not just yourself. It was Olegon Solar who brought you to the club in the first place. What was your relationship with with him like and um what sort of confidence was he instilling in you at the start of your Manchester United career? >> Um it was good. Uh you know our relationship was good from the start. You know a very good guy. We got along quite well and I think he all the other players did as well. I think just who he is as a as a person. Um, obviously he's he's going to back you from the start, you know, so he's given you a job to do and >> you just got to back yourself on it. >> It's an element of almost showing up for him because he's put that trust in you and brought you into the club. >> Yeah. >> What is it like Manchester United again has has gone through a few different managers. What is it like when the the team hears word of the fact that the the hierarchy might be changing and the the manager is being replaced? What is it like actually in that team dynamic? >> Um it's more of just um sticking together. You know, there's always going to be noise outside of the club and we can't let it distract us in a way. You know, uh we got one job to do and that's uh that was to compete. >> After Soljar, I think it was Ralph Rangnik came in next. Um you fell out of favor a little bit during that time period. We spoke about Manchester being a smaller place than the likes of London. Was it hard to kind of avoid the negativity or the noise or the opinions during that time? >> Um, was it hard to avoid it? Um, I think it's just it's sometimes it can be your choice. You know, if you want to see it, you see it. If you don't, you don't. Um, I experienced both. There was times I wanted to see it and there's times where I chose not to cuz it's always going to be there regardless, you know, positive and negative. >> Why did you want to see it? Why would you want to read stuff about yourself like that? >